Christina (Lecturer) - Neurodiversity, Labels And Lived Reality

Ever felt like you’re gliding on the surface while paddling like mad underneath? Christina shares what a late ADHD diagnosis revealed about masking, invisible effort, and why looking calm on the surface often means below the waterline.

Tired of the “neurodiversity as superpower” cliché? We dig into real role models, disclosure, and accommodations that work in education and beyond, not just on paper.

From gothic literature to lab life, Christina unpacks how early “quirky” interests, pattern-seeking, and hyperfocus later aligned with a research career built on variety, problem-solving, and intellectual intensity. We talk about food routines, late diagnosis, and the quiet cost of fitting in. Hear an honest account of neurodiversity at work.

What if the label you avoided for years became the key to designing a life that finally fits? That’s the pivot Christina shares as we trace her path from literary goth kid to scientist, from a winter move to Norway to a late ADHD diagnosis that reframed effort, energy, and why trying harder did not always fix the problem. It’s not a story about becoming someone new. It’s a story about getting the language and leverage to ask for what works.

We talk about the hidden cost of masking and why appearing calm and competent often conceals heavy, invisible cognitive labour. Christina opens up about food and consistency: forgetting to eat during the day, relying on predictable textures just to get calories in, and how that pulled her toward ultra-processed snacks. She shares how she rebuilt routines using low-decision, higher-nutrition swaps that supported focus without turning every choice into a willpower test. We unpack the link between physical health and attention, and how small guardrails around sleep, movement, and structured meals can stabilise the mind.

We also talk about the “D-word”, disclosure, a loaded word that can be the bridge to reasonable adjustments. Seeing a colleague speak openly about neurodivergence gave Christina permission to do the same, and we explore how that honesty challenges networking culture, performative professionalism, and the pressure to conform. We push past the “neurodiversity as superpower” cliché to reflect on the importance of authentic role models who talk honestly about both strengths and friction.

In education, we discuss neurodivergent students and staff as “the canary in the coal mine”. If instructions are unambiguous, deadlines consistent, expectations explicit, and novelty designed in rather than accidental, everyone benefits. We share practical ways to reduce cognitive load, make feedback more actionable, and engineer learning environments where attention is supported rather than assumed.

If you’re navigating a late ADHD diagnosis, supporting a neurodivergent colleague or student, or quietly rethinking your own routines, this conversation offers candid insights and small, workable changes you can test this week.

Transcript

Meet Christina: Scientist And Nonconformist

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Hello and welcome to our next conversation, our fireside chat about people with people who um identify as neurodiverse in some way. Um my plan is to hear as many personal experiences as possible, to hear about their individual personal journeys and help others to hear these stories too. Because it's in a personal journey, the terminology and the words used are theirs based on their experience, and they may not be the words that would be used by those listening. But I think it's important that the voices are heard and they are feel comfortable to express themselves in the way they best feel happy doing so. So today we've got um Christina Elliott with us, who well, Christina, tell us a bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Hello, so my name's Christina Elliott, um, and I am a scientist, a lecturer, and um sort of all round, really interested in all things science-y. Um I'm originally from the Northeast, my accent probably gives me away, um, but I've been fortunate enough throughout my career to live and move around in lots of different places.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Okay, uh, we should say before we start that um Christina and I work together for a few years now, so um, so we kind of got a bit of an understanding of each other's neurodiversity and um and who we are. Um, so that makes it kind of more interesting in a way, but also not more interesting as well. Um, so you describe yourself as neurodiverse. So um how would you describe yourself in terms of your your own neurodiversity?

SPEAKER_00 1:44

So I've I guess I would always say that um not so much that I would say being neurodivergent per se, but I've always been non-conforming in lots of different ways. So, like as a child, um, I was gender non-conforming. I still I think I still am quite gender non-conforming. Um, when I was a teenager, I fully embraced the goth era. Um, so the black the black hair and the heavy metal and all of that. Yeah, and so I've I've always felt really comfortable, or should I say, I've always not really fit in, and I've almost done that. I mean, that's never been a deliberate choice, but it's something that things I've always gravitated towards have always been a little bit out there, should I say, a little bit more diverse?

SPEAKER_02 2:30

A little bit different, yes, getting away from the crowd.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Yeah. So then, yeah, yeah, no, go for it.

Goth Identity And Belonging

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Okay, I was gonna say this is another of the piece question, okay? Oh, yeah, please go for it. I've always wondered because I don't know about these things. So is goth about the music or about the style?

SPEAKER_00 2:48

It's about all of it. It's a lifestyle, it's a lifestyle, it's about I mean, I really got into goth because I was really into I got really almost obsessed with Bramstok's Dracula.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Um, you know, I I love the gothic literature, so like Shelley and Bramstoker.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

Literal Gothic, historic gothic.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Exactly. I was like the romantic, like literary Victorian era sort of goth. I think that's me more than the sort of heavy metal goth. Okay. So even within goth, there's subsections, but perhaps we'll not get too far into the weeds on that.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Yes, okay. I think back back onto the piece.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

You were gonna say something, which I'm not too sure if you remember when I but I think be I think because I've always kind of not fit in, then the fact of becoming so being diagnosed as being neurodivergent later in life, I think kind of just made sense. Um, where I sort of like, uh yeah, so everyone around me just went, Well duh.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

That's not in the way, isn't it? It's kind of um other people think first, I think. Okay, so um being slightly more specific, are there any specific labels you would embrace or distance yourself from in terms of neurodiversity?

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Well, I mean, officially I've been diagnosed with having ADHD, um, and I and I neither and I neither distance nor embrace it. I kind of just think it is what it is. Um throughout that process, there was also a discussion of me getting formally diagnosed as being autistic, but that's something that I just never followed up on, to be honest. Um, at the time, I just didn't feel it was necessary. I think it's a little bit different for me, though, because I was diagnosed much later in life. So, you know, I was in my 30s by the time I'd had this diagnosis. So I think potentially it might have meant something a little bit different if that had been 10 years earlier, for example.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

So what prompted you to make the move?

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Um, it really came from, and if you if you will indulge me with a slightly long-winded.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

It's about your indulgence.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Fantastic, right? So if you'll indulge me a little bit was so it actually started when I moved to Norway. So I moved to Norway as part of a research fellowship. Um, and one thing that I think really there was a lot of newness that all happened at the same time, it was change of job, change of country, change of culture, change of language. Um, there was lots of new stuff all going on at once. And basically, I was all right until I wasn't. Um and I and I really struggled um with the transition of that. Some of that, quite interestingly, I think was the seasonal change. So I moved to Norway when it was dark all the time and very cold, and this was like at the start of December or something. And what I noticed was there was a huge impact on my mood. And so I was like really struggling mood-wise, but also as just sort of emotionally as well. And so part of me seeking help for that um really got me into a conversation that then ended up resulting in me being diagnosed with ADHD.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Okay, so you diagnosed in in Norway. Okay, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Um slightly of different route than the than perhaps um others might have.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

And you probably I mean you might not be able to answer this. Is it a quicker process in in Norway? Is uh more of more available because it takes so long to get diagnosed, particularly with ADHD here, that um it's it's a quicker.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

I think the structure of the healthcare system is much different in Norway. There's sort of a semi-private kind of model to it whereby there's not the same level of overwhelm to the system compared to what we currently see. Um and I think one of the things as well was I wasn't seeking that diagnosis. It was very much that that just came on the back of the other mental health support, but it's much more um, I should I say mental health support in Norway was much more cohesive compared to what is offered here in the NHS, I'm afraid.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, so you got a diagnosis, and how did that affect you?

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Um it didn't, it didn't. I mean, it's a kind of a straight a bit of a hand wavy thing to say, but I think what I did find really helpful about it was for me, it suddenly provided like a label or a framework, a lens in which I could view a lot of things through, which then suddenly things maybe made a little bit more sense. Yeah. So I start I started to sort of say, actually, you find this stuff difficult because of X, Y, and Z rather than that, you know, there was there was some other thing going on. And so I I I found it was a useful kind of lens or a lexicon to help kind of articulate what was going on. So I found it helpful from that perspective.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

Would you I'm putting words in your mouth here, but would you say it empowered you? Um having that clinical certificate, if you like.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

I think it empowered me from a perspective of I think you have more, I feel like you have more legal backing. So maybe that's me getting a little bit more cynical about it. But I think potentially when it comes to articulating things like accommodations, um, I think actually having that diagnosis, I think gives you more confidence to say, actually, I need these accommodations, or you know, yeah, there are there are reasonable accommodations to be made. And I felt more confident in being able to articulate that. And I think that was something that was really powerful about our discussions when we first started to work together. I think is that your approach to being very open and honest about your neurodiversity actually inspired me to disclose because it was something I actually hadn't disclosed to an employer before.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Um it's hard to do that though, isn't it? It's it's easy to say someone should actually doing. And it's that word disclosure as well, which does for some people raise alarm.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

I know some people don't like this word, but I think I use that word because it's one, it's the legal word, so you know, in terms of how to align to those accommodations and those legal frameworks in terms of employer responsibility, but also just things like you know, you do it does feel like something that um you know there's there still is that kind of stigma, I would say, where you kind of feel like you don't want people to view you in a in a in a different way.

Disclosure, Stigma, And Accommodations

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Well, it's your word to describe your journey, so it's it's always gonna be valid on that basis. Okay, you mentioned um autism. You kind of that kind of was mentioned in the okay talking more about that?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it was just a case of that, you know, within that, within those assessments, there was, you know, a suggestion that there was potentially to be on the autistic spectrum. And it was a case of, well, is that something you want to kind of go all the way through and and actually get a formal diagnosis for? And and I just I mean, at the time I was very busy with the with the with the fellowship, and then you know, all the rest of it. Basically, life got in the way, and it was just something I never really pick picked back up. And I'm not sure I'm I'm still undecided whether I would pick it back up again, actually.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Okay, so that's under consideration.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Okay, um, so can you describe how uh your neurodiversity affects you on a day-to-day basis, which may come as a surprise to other people? Because I think um everyone makes certain assumptions about once you've can bring that back word back, that label is given. They make assumptions about an individual whereas they don't that always doesn't always work.

Daily Life: Masking And Energy Costs

Food, Consistency, And Health Trade‑Offs

SPEAKER_00 10:33

I mean, one thing I suppose that maybe is I'll start off with sort of a just a general analogy. And I often think it's a little bit like I don't know, this a swan or a duck on the water, whereby, you know, on the surface you might appear that you're gliding along the water very smoothly and nice and calm and tranquil, but actually you're kicking like hell underneath. Um, and that and that's one of the things that I think people maybe often don't quite see is actually how much happens behind the curtain, in as much as me kind of keeping the show on the road, should I say. Um, there's there's a little bit of that to it, which I think it can be quite tricky. Um, there's a little bit of that to it. But something more specific recently that I've been reflecting on a lot recently is the relationship with food. So one of the things, so one of the things that um many, well, many people that know is that over the summer I took on the project of trying to lose weight. Right. Um and through that process, you have to really think about your relationship with food. And I think what I really understood was that some of the issues that I had around sort of weight and food and sort of general sort of wellness is because, for example, because of neurodiversity, like often, for example, I could forget to eat in the day or I'm not eating, and then potentially then I'm eating a lot in the evening, and then that causes problems in terms of what you eat, and you might be eating too much of the wrong stuff.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Um, and other things around like favoring consistency, so wanting to eat very similar food or food that's very, I don't know, very same-y. So, you know, it doesn't matter what batch you buy, when you buy it, it's always the same. It doesn't perish, it doesn't go a bit mushy, anything like that. Um that often means it's junk food. Mushy food is uh just stuff like yeah, it's just the idea of like, you know, if you if you eat an apple, that potentially if you eat an apple on Monday, it could be very different from eating an apple on Tuesday. Um, and by the time you eat an apple on Friday, it could be a bit mushy, or it could be, you know, and and that sort of thing can, you know, I think can be a bit prohibitive for for when I'm thinking about sort of food choices and things. So I think that has meant on reflection, I've gravitated towards things like junk food because of the consistency of it. Because it, you know, you open a pack of the Jaffa cakes, it's the same, it's consistent.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Oh, okay, okay. So you mean consistent as in the same, not consistent as in as in the texture to it, as in the stupid quite liquid consistency. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

So it I don't have particular hang-ups about like specific food or like textures. I'm not that keen on mushrooms, but that's that's a different conversation. Yeah, um, but like the consistency of it doesn't matter when you eat it, it will be the same experience. Like there's no unexpected surprises of like, oh, that's gone off, right? Throw it away. Yeah. Um, and so there's a bit a bit of that to it, which has meant I've gravitated towards unhealthy eating choices. Um and so there's been a been a bit of a re-evaluation of like my relationship with food, and I think some of that is because of the neurodiversity perspective.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

Okay, so how have you dealt with that? Has it been a case of um willpower or a a bit of all things, really?

Networking, Fitting In, And Authenticity

SPEAKER_00 14:12

I mean, there's there's finding consistent alternatives. So, like, for example, there's lots of these like ready-made like protein shake, milkshake type things. They have the consistency in as much as you know, on the day-to-day, it's very similar. But I don't have the, you know, but the nutrition is better, so it's thinking about some of those um alternatives. So that's been one alternative, and the other's been um, yeah, willpower, just really thinking, right, um, you need to get over this and think about, you know, what actually what's what the trade-off is, because I think there's such a deep connection between your physical health and your mental health that I do find, for example, being in poor physical health actually makes my neurodiversity or like the what that how that manifests actually worse. Um, you know, not exercising, not eating properly, I think really affects things like my focus and motivation much more. So I think they go hand in hand. So it's really thinking about you gotta look after your body to take care of your mind as well.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Yeah, and yeah, so good. So going back to the your first example, sorry, I want I want to get back to this. You kind of uh you were kind of you didn't use the word, but you were kind of describing masking. Are you happy with the word masking?

SPEAKER_00 15:37

Um yeah, I get I guess so. I guess so. I mean, I I don't know if I mask that well. I don't think I'm a very good masker because I think most people go, oh yeah, of course. Like there's a neurodiver if we have a neurodiversity radar, I'm thoroughly on it. Um so I I don't know if I if I'm good at masking, but yeah, this idea of trying to present uh like I've got it together.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Yeah, I'm not I'm yeah, I'm not don't want to concentrate on the the efficacy of the masking, more of the energy of the masking.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Yeah, and this certainly the expending the spoons as as they say. Yeah, yeah. I definitely have to I have to put more into things um than perhaps other people, maybe neurotypical people might necessarily do. Things like small talk, and in our line of work, things like networking I can find really quite difficult because I'm not though I'm a little bit, you know, on the surface, I might appear to be quite extroverted. You know, I'm I I can be a chatty person.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Um, but small talk, I just that's just a no-can-do for me. I really, really struggle with that, really struggle with networking and that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

I think um networking is a is a is a big aspect of the neotypical world, which I think a lot of new neurodiversion people find quite alien. I think that idea of yeah. Anyway, putting myself into it there, shouldn't be doing that.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Well, I mean, I I think it's it's it's it is interesting though, because I think it also goes along with, you know, a lot of people feel a very strong urge to fit in.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

And that's and that's just something I've never really felt as strongly the need to fit in. Um, and I think then that makes it a bit tricky as well, because networking is about fitting into structures, isn't it? It is, whether they be professional structures, social structures. Um, and because that's never really enthused me, then I find that really, you know, that's another level of why would I, yeah, this why would I try to get over level masking because you're trying to put out this persona which is the same as everybody else, and actually you're not feeling comfortable in that.

Role Models Beyond The Superpower Myth

SPEAKER_02 17:46

So yeah, anyway. Okay, so um another question. What what would you like to better understand?

SPEAKER_00 17:55

It's quite a general question, quite an open question, but um I I think what I'd really like to understand a little bit more, and this is where I feel really entused about your podcast, actually, um, and what potentially might ripple out from these kinds of conversations is I'd really like to know something a little bit about the importance of role models for neurodiversity, because you know, you could you can paraphrase like um Billy Jean King, you know, if you can see it, you can be it, you know, that sort of thing. Um, and I think of my own experience that you know, through your example in particular, I think that was so inspiring for me to kind of take charge of my own situation, um, which I might have just suffered through it had I not had that example. So I'm really interested in thinking about the importance of role models and how, you know, how you know, how authentic are those, how helpful are those, particularly in our context, thinking about education. Yeah. Um does having openly neurodivergent faculty actually, you know, what effect does that have on the neuro neurodivergent student cohorts? I'd love to know more about that.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

I think it can go a bit far because it's um it's I can't remember the terminology, but it's dyslexia week this week. I saw a video where they had um Orlando Bloom on and Kira Knightley and Richard Branson, who's on all of them. And I was thinking actually that's really good to see, but I think a few more normal people would have been good to uh to kind of show that how how yeah. So uh yeah, I totally totally get that.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

I think absolutely, but I think then that also intersects on what we might call the superpower narrative, you know. This I this this idea I'm getting.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

To be open, we've talked about it a fair bit.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Yeah. But but it but it is that though, isn't it? Where you know, are your role models, are your exemplars those really high performing, you know, um presenting of you that everything's roses and it's all just some sort of gift, and it's all about how it's you how. utilized in the in the real world. But actually how about authentic role models, I think, as well, you know, how you know how actually saying sometimes it actually is really tough and sometimes I have to work harder um because of it. I think you know sometimes those more three-dimensional portrayal, maybe I wonder how that resonates with people.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

As you said, this is what we're hoping to get out of doing these these chats.

Canary In The Coal Mine For Design

SPEAKER_00 20:29

Yeah, absolutely. Is there something you'd like to tell your colleagues I would say thinking about particularly those of us that are interested in education is thinking very much about one way that I've really thought about neurodivergent students, but also neurodivergent colleagues is perhaps to consider them a little bit like the canary in the coal mine. You know, this idea of you know back in the day where this idea that they would use a canary to identify if there was a place of danger, potentially like a gas gas leak or something like this. And it was the first sign that things were not right. And I would like to add and I've been thinking about this a lot and I do think potentially we should think about how we might view um neurodivergent staff and students as those canaries in the core mine for some of our structures and thinking about if we can optimize things for them, we essentially optimize things for everybody. I think I think they prov it provides quite a good opportunity to engage with with the community to think about if we can if we can reduce cognitive load for example that benefits neurodivergent students. Yes of course but it also benefits the neurotypical students as well. So it's thinking about yeah what lessons we can kind of learn from each other and whether we can apply that in a broader context.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Yeah so that's really powerful getting um you kind of the what what a neurodivergent student needs is a baseline for what would support and help others as well. Yeah. Excellent thank you very much. All right. Okay um so yeah so we've got the last classic podcast question is have you got any advice or insights you'd like to share beyond what we've spoken about.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

Well I think that's that's an interesting one was just this idea of how we might use the lived experience to enrich structures and processes for everybody. But also I mean I think something that I guess I'm thinking a little bit more about um a little bit more recently is thinking about how, for example, I was really drawn to a career in research because I think because of my um neurodiversity and my sort of my desire for novelty, I think I really liked research because research was very varied on the everyday um you move around you move in different labs you move in different cities different countries different research questions um and that's that was a much easier fit and I can see why I gravitated to that and now it makes more sense why I've found it much more difficult to pivot to a teaching focused role because it's less novelty in the same way. So it's thinking about how you might um so and now I'm thinking about how do I inject novelty into my everyday so you know you're not you're not teaching the same class the same way year after year or you're not marking the same thing the same way year after year.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

Well students quite bring it are quite good at bringing us novelty quite a lot.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Absolutely absolutely um the teaching aspect I I actually really don't find tricky at all. Yeah but what I what I struggle with is if you've got lots of marking then that's when it becomes really um and it's quite savy. That's intrinsic to the task you want things to be standard. I do find marking tricky so I do I every year I have to kind of steal myself for marking that's the toughest part.

How To Support Neurodivergent Students

SPEAKER_02 24:11

Fully understand that yes and from that I've got another question I'd like um I'd like to ask have you got any advice to and I'm I want to sort of make it broader so the advice the question would be have you got an advice a tutor you'd give a tutor who had a neurodivergent student but I think I'd make it broader if someone in your context has disclosed you that they're neurodivergent or you think are what would your advice be to that person to best support that individual I think I would try to encourage them to be feeling more confident and more empowered to articulate what it is how they experience the world and what they actually need to get the most out of things.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

I think what I always am a little bit nervous about and I'm I'm thinking of this in my own practice I always worry about either inputting in my own personal experience of neurodiversity or my or my understanding of neurodiversity onto someone else and thinking oh because you're autistic that means X, Y, and Z and so on. And what I've realized particularly through our interactions with our students is actually I've realized that it's such a myriad of different of different things like how it manifests in individuals is very different. And so I've I've kind of wanted to say it's not a one size fits all. Okay there I think there are some core things yeah but really it it should be about trying to let them lead the way in terms of articulating what's going on and trying to I don't know um feel a bit more confident to advocate for what they need because I think it's it can be very easy to like sort of superimpose an experience or an understanding onto somebody and that might not actually be correct or authentic.

Disclosure Benefits And Next Steps

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Yeah so in a gentle but open way ask.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Yeah and have a I think so um and I think to to try and also you know because we are talking about the D word and we are thinking about disclosure that you know there there are lots of people and particularly like you know societally and culturally also you know still view that in a certain way and I think it's also a case of there's a little bit of a sell to it as well where I think you have to I don't know you have to make it really obvious what the benefits are for disclosing because I think you can feel like potentially you're making yourself very vulnerable. And if you feel like what is actually the benefit am I just opening myself up to this vulnerability without any tangible benefits. So some of that can be you know also just being really clear about what can what potentially can be done in terms of um accommodation or adjustment or that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

And remembering it's that person's journey not yours.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

Absolutely um and and very much being sort of guide on the side really yeah excellent thank you very much that what you say I did learn stuff.

Closing Reflections

SPEAKER_02 27:21

Excellent thank you very much thank you. Right